The Closet Moderate: Mysteries of Modern Medicine

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Mysteries of Modern Medicine

I'm a bit amazed that we haven't managed to cure breast cancer yet. Off the top of my head, I can't think of a single anti-breast group out there. Simply put, the entire human race, independent of color, creed or sexual orientation, is objectively pro-boob.

Maybe, maybe there's some troglodyte fashionista out there who objects to breasts because they ruin the waifish silhouette he's trying to achieve, but that seems to suggest he's rather bad at his job and his views should be discounted. (Protip: don't design for women if you can't deal with female anatomy!) You could also make a case for the mythical Amazons, who supposedly cut or burned off their right breast so that it wouldn't obstruct their draw when using a bow. However, every artistic representation of Amazons depicts them with both breasts, suggesting one of two things:
  • Artists are pro-boob, willing to indulge in a little artistic license (see: Wonder Woman)
  • The whole a-mazon (without breasts) etymology is just another example of the ugly trope that a strong woman must therefore be less feminine
If I were to bet on the origins of a rumor about a mythical society of woman-warriors, I'd bet on the latter option. But I wouldn't do that, because that would be dumb. Anyway, to recap: the entire human race likes breasts, and breast cancer reduces overall breast prevalence. And yet we haven't cured it.

Come on, everybody!


Silent Cal said...

Just because everyone wishes a thing were so doesn't make it so. Sometimes physical reality intervenes. This explains why you're a Democrat.

P.S. Fashion designers are anti-tit, and they run the world.

Statler said...

1. That's why it's a call to action!

2. You're wrong. They're not anti-boob, they anti-certain types of breasts (large ones).