The Closet Moderate: The real winner of Black September

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The real winner of Black September

While people are busy calling Hank Paulson "the most powerful Secretary of the Treasury since Alexander Hamilton" or just "Lord Paulson, Ruler of all Money", its worth noting that the person who's going to actually dispurse the 700,000,000,000 dollars that Paulson raises is the next Secretary of the Treasury, who will probably also be the most powerful Secretary of the Treasury since Alexander Hamilton. So its probably worth thinking about who this person might be, so that any would-be Aaron Burrs can start their target practice with the appropriate pictures.

I can certainly tell you some characteristics he will have:
1) Really, intimately familiar with Wall Street. The main job of the next Treasury Secretary will be to dole out 700,000,000,000 (I just love writing it all out) dollars to Wall Street firms, so he'd better be able to tell his Goldman Sachs from his Sarbanes-Oxley. This is so important that I think it rules out a lot of the usual suspects on each side; Austan Goolsbee and Jason Furman are very smart economists, but as I keep reminding my relatives, economics != finance. Similarly, Meg Whitman and Carli Fiorina are sharp businesswomen, but they didn't work on Wall Street.

2) But not a Wall Street CEO. We're not going to get another repeat of Paulson (unless we actually get a repeat of Paulson, which is not completely out of the question); anyone involved in the making of this fiasco is right out.

3) At least somewhat non-partisan. This is especially true if McCain is the next president, because he is probably facing down 54 Democratic Senators to get his pick confirmed, and they are not going to tolerate some Phil Gramm bullshit here. Even Obama is going to feel some pressure to tap someone on the "competent" side of the competent-ideologue continuum.

4) Incorruptible. Handing out (here it comes) 700,000,000,000 dollars is going to make the next Secretary of the Treasury an EXTREMELY popular guy with a lot of extremely wealthy people. Its got to be certain that he won't misuse his authority, either because he has an unimpeachable reputation or because he's just one rich motherfucker.

So who knows Wall Street, but isn't OF Wall Street, is famously non-partisan, and has so much money he couldn't be bribed by God himself? Not to mention is about to run smack dab into some term limits?

This guy
. That's right: Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger.


Silent Cal said...

Nah, McCain will still hold out for Lieberman.

Fake Steve Hawking said...

Can I put in a bid for 700 teradollars? Or perhaps 0.7 petadollars? Or, as I am fond of calling it, 70 months in Iraq.

Statler said...

Can we call him "Hank the Tank?"

Herodotus said...

Regarding point #4, C. Montgomery Burns was once trusted to transport the trillion dollar bill to Europe because he was the richest, therefore most trusted American to handle it. That worked out well. And France is still snooty towards us.

Silent Cal said...

I'm starting to think this would be a good idea. I hope Obama and McCain pay attention to this suggestion during their daily perusals of out blog.