The Closet Moderate: Balderdash!

Thursday, September 18, 2008


My fellow bloggard, Waldorf, sent me this latest abomination from the New York Times. Is this what happens when William Safire retires? The Times just makes up new words and writes articles on them? "Staycation" was bad enough, but "glamping"? The learned author explains:
If the eco-friendly idea of falling asleep under the stars and roasting marshmallows around a campfire appeals to you, but the reality of pitching a tent and sleeping on bumpy ground does not, glamping [sic], the new term being used for upscale — or glamorous — camping, could be your ideal green vacation.
This offends me for many reasons. The idea itself is ridiculous; why not just stay in a hotel and leave the windows open? It would be equally glamorous and would not require the "glamper" to stretch the boundaries of his dictionary (and credulity) in attempting to equate the experience to camping.

Equally ridiculous is the idea that this "glamping" is pitched as a "green" option. That's not too surprising; everything is pitched as "green" these days. But seriously, how can this level of luxury honestly be called environmental? Behold, their logic:
“We call it nature on a silver plate,” Terre Short, Paws Up’s general manager, said. “I think glamping has really hit its stride this summer as the ultimate connect [sic] with nature.”

No, friend, the ultimate connection with nature would be a lot closer to actual camping. The ultimate connection to nature would probably not involve "king-sized beds and art on the walls, a personal butler and private master bath." Neither, I suspect, would it include "a games tent, a library tent, dining tents, lounge tents and a spa tent."

True conservation, if that is your thing, can't include all the luxuries of normal life. If you want to reduce your carbon dioxide output, the best option (short of killing yourself) is to use less stuff. If you believe in this green crusade, instead of driving to a glamorous campsite, stay the fuck home. Tend your garden. Compost something. Make something out of hemp.

Reducing your consumption of whatever resource you think we're running out of means actually reducing your fancy lifestyle. You can't have it both ways.

Also, I hate neologisms because I am cranky and don't want to buy a new dictionary.

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